What is Intimacy? It is the confidence of two persons to express one’s being in a relationship that brings closeness to each other. One can truly express his/her thoughts, feelings or emotions, inner being, and even sensual desires to his/her partner without any inhibitions or hesitations. No person can experience intimacy alone. It is always and often shared with a partner. Thus, intimacy is one of the important elements of happy marriage. Does intimacy fade? The level of intimacy changes, hence it can affect the relationship between couples. When it happens couples have to struggle to gain back the intimate feelings they had that makes them happy and contented. Yet on some cases, one would find someone else to satisfy his/her intimate desires. Therefore, couples must always nurture their intimacy with each other so that long lasting relationship will be fulfilled.
According to Gary D. Chapman, Ph.D., (author of Five Signs of a Loving Family), an essential ingredient of intimacy is allowing your spouse to be himself without striving to conform him to your ideals. In intimacy, we try to grow closer together, not to eliminate the "otherness," but to enjoy it. Men and women are different and we must not, even with good intentions, seek to destroy those differences. What keeps us from experiencing intimacy? All of us are egocentric; the world revolves around us. Yet, when we focus on self, we lose intimacy. The opposite of self-centeredness, then, is love. Love concentrates on the well being of the spouse. We take time to listen to the thoughts, feelings, and desires of our spouse. We seek to understand and to respond with empathy. We choose to do things with each other, even things that may not be our favorite activities, simply because we want to be with each other. In the context of such intimacy we become supportive and caring of each other, which builds a stronger, more contented marriage.
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